All about the brand?
Last night my daughter created a crossword puzzle of what looked like her favorite things. There was bands like Fall Out Boy, Green Day, Simple Plan, etc.. bands I knew she liked. But then there was Korn and The Cure.
Just earlier in the evening she had asked me, while browsing the internet, "Who is The Cure? Did you like them?" My answer was a tentative "Yes, they were one of my favorite bands" ... I didn't explain well that this was when I was 17/18. I didn't explain well why I don't listen to The Cure anymore because I wasn't sure myself.
So The Cure winds up on my daughters list of favorite things. I'm not sure where Korn came from on her list.
I've seen this kind of list in the form of a word game before. With the recent shoes thing. There's a page floating around the house here (literally) with Adio, Etnies and other skater shoe brand logos on it.
What concerns me is that she's not thinking for herself. Maybe she's not capable at this age, I don't know. Maybe if she gave The Cure a listen then decided she liked the band that would be better. Maybe it wouldn't. Maybe I don't want her listening to Korn and deciding she likes the band. Maybe this is all about the look or the brand and not really about the substance. This is what scares me as a parent. This sort of automatic buy-in.
I'm not sure how to teach my daughter to think, act, feel for herself. The paradox is that my wife and I have taught her to think, act and feel what we want her to. We've been surplanted with the world at large.
How can I teach my daughter to think, act and feel for herself or maybe I'm taking this sort of brand experimentation too seriously. Any ideas?
posted by Mike Atwell at 11:55 PM
2 Comments:
Hey watertower.
I'm not parent myself, but I do have a younger sister and as the older brother I do have a fair idea of the issues your expressing. I find that where things like music, shoes etc are concerned, you should let them make the decision but ask them to run their decisions through you and abide by your rules concerning each decision. If you feel that their decision is not right, or that for any reason it isn't the right time to approve said decision, you should politely tell them 'no' and give them your reasons for this. Let me just stress that this is only my personal opinion, and that it may be a good idea to get a second opinion before taking me up on mine.
ron
1:55 AM
edad:
Obviously, "thinking for" your daughter and letting her make her own decisions is a tension point in the parent-child relationship.
At the age of your daughter, discernment is still being refined. It's my opinion that you have to help guide the discernment process.
As for what you decide to share with your daughter, you have to decide what you share about your past decisions and choices. If you decide to say that Dad made some bad choices in the past, then you open the door to "If you made bad choices in the past, then how can I trust your decisions now?" You can always reply, "We learn the most from our mistakes."
As for the influence of advertising, I think you need to hit this head on. PBS on Frontline ran a great documentary called the Mechants of Cool. It talked about how advertisers use "cool" as way to introduce products and influence their buying habits. Tell your kids that they are being "sold." They need to think beyond the manipulative influences of Madison Avenue.
Of course, their friends may not think beyond it and then comes the peer pressure.
One wise friends of mine (and ours) said that when it came to clothes and fashion, she had an agreement with her daughters -- they couldn't buy clothes without her approval and she couldn't buy them clothes without their approval. It seems like a good system.
Ahhh, parenthood, where is the manual?
Later,
Random
10:55 AM
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